A practicing psychologist and coach, author of unique techniques, husband, father … Konstantin retold his history of loss of vision so many times that she managed to contract to a dry balance: at three years they gave it to sports, made great successes. At 11 I received a skate in the temple: not even in training, but simply in the yard. Next – a medical error: electrophoresis was prescribed in the clinic, burned the retina of the left eye. The darkness came at 18. As it turned out – forever.
Sports make it grow old. Learn to set goals and achieve them. Fall, get up, win competitions, and then fly off the pedestal. This, however, happened infrequently: data from nature are good. But there could be both the second and third – and one day even sixth place: then it seemed a complete disaster. But nothing: you come to training and start all over again. You just don’t know what can be different.
And then, at 11, after the injury, it seemed: nothing special happened. Life as such has not changed a lot, they simply began to constantly remind: be more careful, do not jump from a height, avoid blows. And at 18, when the doctors said: this is forever, the situation is irreversible, the retina would not be restored – it seemed that there would be a way out. A miracle will happen, doctors will come up with something ..
Did not happen, and probably could not. But there was a choice: to sleep, close at home, sitting on the neck of parents and the state, or move on. I immediately realized that the first two options are not suitable for me.
The next two years somehow “fell out”: operations, the rehabilitation center near Volokolamsk, where I mastered the Braille font, learned to navigate, print on a typewriter. Barely graduating from school, he began life literally from scratch.
Even in high school, I chose between the professions of a lawyer and a psychologist. Which and the other attracted the opportunity to be useful to people. Now the choice was obvious. He chose a university, the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis, prepared for exams and left his native Kazan to Moscow.
The rector’s attitude was very impressed: positive, but not condescendingly piercing. The institute rented a premises from Moscow State University: they agreed to be allowed with a dog, so we moved from the course to course together. There were no discounts anywhere and never: everyone is preparing abstracts – and I write: I print on a computer with a voicing program. And I liked it.
From customers, as well as from myself, I demand specific actions, I ask the question: what did you do? What interferes? I figured it out – move forward
The main wands-lifes were a recorder and memory: Globalpharmacy24 he wrote lectures on audio, listened at home once or twice and could reproduce literally or almost literally-a natural gift, which, due to circumstances, developed every day.
In the middle of the first year, he went to the Moscow Institute of Gestalt and Psycodram – studied practice, working with clients. Around the same, at the end of the first year, the first client appeared: the teacher brought a person, said: "I believe in you, come on". I wrote all the meetings with the permission of the client on the recorder, then I listened, I tried to understand if I missed something, did not say excess.
Behind the first client, the second, third appeared-and went and went. People liked quick results, a comfortable and pleasant atmosphere. From my customers, as well as from myself, I always demand specific actions, I ask the question: what did you do? What interferes? I figured it out – move forward.
I don’t like to hang out, to engage in "mental chewing gum", self -eating. In this sense, I immediately became comfortable in Moscow: this city is very suitable for me in terms of temperament. I myself am very fast, sometimes sharp in terms of decision -making. I decided – I do it.
When I work with clients, a matrix with cells arises in my head, which are gradually filled in the process of communication
At the same time, it is important to always listen to yourself, to your body. It happens that I go to a person, and the body literally shouts: “Do not take the next step!" – feels a threat or danger. In general, when meeting new people, it is different: sometimes direct images arise, sometimes indirect (cards of a house, cloud). Maybe the image of an animal or an icon is a “smiley” may suddenly appear.
When I work with clients, a matrix with cells arises in my head, which are gradually filled in the process of communication. This matrix is individual, depending on what request or problem the person has come. When I need information, I, like on a computer, “click on the buttons” and open the desired cell.
And I read all this information by my voice – and I am learning others. Unlike poses, gestures, facial expressions, our voice is not lying. I teach the client to pay attention to the words of the interlocutor, and the intonation, and to the position of the body, analyze all this in the complex. And, of course, work with your own voice.
A fairly common story: a person comes, an educated, excellent specialist – but they do not value at work, do not increase, the salary is small. I write down our dialogue on the recorder, let the client listen to himself – he is surprised to hear the thin voice of an uncertain boy, softening the suffixes: “little man”, “project”.
Next, we begin to work. Learning to build other timbres and subtembras, remove clamps, work with linguistics, analyze how the words we use, affect the image that develops in another person. In two or three months, a person learns to growl, switch to low tones, a leisurely status speech is developed-and changes at work do not force themselves to wait long.
In addition, in my training company we have developed the Mirror methodology. The client fills out the form with a seemingly non -meaningful questions, the program processes and gives out a table, and I make a portrait of a person on it: I am listing personal qualities, character traits, inclinations, the state of the inner world at the moment, a profession in which a person can be successful (and with what probability). Clients say coincidence 100%. Several times the technique even helped identify potential suicides among adolescents who were given by parents.
Quite a large part of my customers are business people. Interest in this topic is generally incurred: I somehow tried to restore my “pedigree”, and it turned out that before the revolution my ancestors were Kazan merchants. So, apparently, blood takes its. Many come to personal therapy. But my wife Katya, also a psychologist who is weak from birth, is engaged in children.
We had a classic, banal, in a good sense of the word, history. Students, met in the library – well, where else? She was sick, I brought her tea, talked: there were a lot of common interests.
Our son, Yegor, will soon be eight. A very active, sensible boy, was engaged in music, dancing, now he is fond of picture. We invite a person to drive him into circles and sections, to meet – everything is like in an ordinary family with working parents.
It is not difficult for me to say what exactly my interlocutor is doing, but I better ask my son: what are you doing now? And he answers with pleasure: I play the "monopoly", put on skates, stroke the cat. This is also helping him to learn how to tell, communicate. I try not to “turn on” the psychologist at home, so as not to lose the “colors of life”, not to burn out.
Good discharge and at the same time recharge in this sense – sport. Be sure to exercise, walks. In general, I did a lot of things: for example, judo, firing from onions. The latter is especially surprising: how technically it. It is difficult to explain: you just learn to hold the bow correctly, feel the position of the body in space, listen to the comments of the coach.
The inner sense of the goal gradually comes: as if you see her and the position of the arrow with an internal gaze, and how she falls into the "ten". And you get – in training and competitions. It happens that and three times in a row.